NOT FINISHED
Anthem widow shows strength despite loss
MARC BUCKHOUT ~ MANAGING EDITOR ~ 6/9/2010

Marathon runners talk about hitting the wall, a sensation that commonly takes place around the 20th mile of the 26 mile race in which their legs go heavy and their will to keep going wanes.
Michelle Steinke of Anthem hit the equivalent of the
wall in her personal life.
The 36-year-old mother of two young children lost her husband, Mitch, in October when a World War I biplane he was flying crashed.
“I was just in complete shock,” she said. “It was insane. Your brain knows what has happened, but your body doesn’t know how to react. For the first week or so I was really a shell of a person.”
At some point though she came out of the fog, with the focus and resolve to honor the spirit of her late husband.
“He was special,” she said. “He had a zeal for life. We were very verbal about things we wanted to do. Mitch always believed that life is about living. It’s not about watching it go by. He also was really good about being in the moment. He didn’t care about yesterday and he didn’t worry about what might happen tomorrow. He had a today is my day
kind of attitude.”
Steinke explained that she and Mitch had always been vocal about things they wanted to do and places they wanted to visit. To give herself some focus and direction she wrote down as many of those things as she could recall.
“We verbally had made a bucket list,” she said. “Some of the things he only wanted to do. Some of the things I only wanted to do and some of them we both wanted to do.”
Having started a workout regimen at SWEAT, prior to Mitch’s death, Michelle decided the first challenge for her to tackle was to run a marathon.
“Even though they’re really young right now I want to show my kids what it is like to set goals, work hard and achieve thing,” she said. “They’ve been through a lot. Addison is 3.5 now and she and I talk about her daddy all the time. Matthew is only 20 months, but he’ll learn that his dad was with them all the time. It’s a big void to fill.”
Beyond deciding to run the marathon Michelle decided she would attach a fundraiser
to the event.
“We raised $10,000 toward the Mitchel Adrian Steinke Memorial Scholarship, an annual scholarship that will be awarded to a youth interested in attending the Experimental Aircraft Association Academy Camp, which is aimed at helping kids interested in aviation.”
In helping raise those funds Michelle turned to numerous friends for support including her next door neighbors Christine and Bryan Appleton.
“Michelle and I have known each other for seven years,” Christine said. “She’s my best friend. She called me a couple weeks after Mitch passed and said she’d always wanted to run a marathon and asked me if I’d do it with her. I ran one 11 years ago and said I’d never run one again, but when she asked I immediately said yes.”
A group that started with Michelle, Christine and Bryan eventually grew to 17, that went to San Diego to participate, either running the half or the full marathon in Sunday’s San Diego Rock’n’ Roll Marathon.
“It’s been something to see her go through this,” Christine said. “Running is such a physical activity. She’s pounding the pavement to get out her emotions. I think mentally it’s a chance to clear her head. Some turn to food for comfort when they go through tragedy. Some deal with depression by turning to alcohol. Working out has been what has saved Michelle. It has been her grief counselor, her therapy.”
Michelle agrees. “It really has been an escape mechanism, a stress release where I can get the aggression out,” she said. “It’s really easy to fall into the poor me attitude. I’m not going to pretend it’s easy. I miss him, but he left me doing something he loved. He wasn’t sick for years. I’ve also been very lucky to have such good friends that have supported me.”
On Sunday Michelle accomplished her goal, completing her first marathon in San Diego, the city where she and Mitch met.
In the days leading up to the race Christine gave a sense of what the accomplishment would mean.
“She’s almost a completely different person,” Christine said. “She and Mitch were together for 15 years. She really has had to reinvent herself. She has a new zest for life. I’d say she has more of a drive to make her time matter, to teach her kids to live in the moment. He would be extremely
proud of her.”
Christine said she has been affected by watching her friend deal with her loss.
“Everybody gets caught up in the day to day grind,” she said. “People sometimes lose the vision to enjoy the small joys of life. It has taught me to appreciate the small things. I think it has made me more appreciative of what I have. You never know when your day is going to come. In the end what matters is how do you impact people’s lives and were you happy. She still has her tough times, but she is learning to be happy again.”
Those interested in donating to the scholarship fund can write checks out to EAA and are asked to include the Mitchel Steinke Scholarship in the memo section. Donation can be sent to:
EAA Scholarship Department, P.O. Box 3086 Oshkosh, WI 54903-3086 For information contact Steinke at 816-682-0102 or mavzeus@q.com, or Appleton at 714-390-4332 or azfinnegan@hotmail.com.